When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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