My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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