Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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