i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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