Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
