I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
