Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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