i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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