I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
