Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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