I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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