My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
