90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
