matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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