It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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