i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so let's talk penis.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
