yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
