dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
They have beer where we have blood.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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