Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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