i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
