does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
