Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
whose parrot is this?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
