Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
