when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
