Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
