I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
