So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
