My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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