I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
