ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
