So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
