me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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