i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
