Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
