That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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