when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
