i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
