Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
