I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize