She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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