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The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
