in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
