wanna go halves on a baby?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
is that a dick in a sweater?
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