Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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