Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
