What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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