sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
