I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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