you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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