I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
