The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
