Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
