Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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