I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
