i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
