there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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