omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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