the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
