I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
