we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
