Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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