just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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