Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
