"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
