I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He? As in you personified your dick?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
