Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
