you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
