Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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