hotel room ftw
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize