his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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