nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
